So, I don't know about some of you, but I have a Jamaican Grandmother. Notice the title-esque format. This is actually not a state of being but an official title conferred only on those who follow the Jamaican Grandmother's Code of Behavior also called the JGCOB.
Rule number one:
Grandma overrules all. This means mummy, daddy, annoying siblings, dog, puss, goat, you get the picture. What Grandma says goes.
Rule number two:
Grandma has a right to quote various Jamaican proverbs at you. She has a plethora of options, but you'll know her favorites, because everytime she says them, you feel about 5 years old. Her favorites may vary from Grandma to Grandma, but she's not Jamaican unless she has some:)
Rule number three:
You must eat what Grandma gives you regardless of how big the casserole dish is. If Grandma makes you a plate of food and insists that you eat it, this is JGCOB for her saying "I love you". You may never hear these actual words, but rest assured this is what she means.
Rule number four:
No matter how many times you are called from across the house, field, yard etc to retrieve an object less than 2ft away from grandma, you must comply. Failure to do so or *gasp* complain about it is interpreted not only has total lack of respect but that you don't love her (which is clearly worse).
and last but not least rule number five:
I will love my grandmother no matter what she says or does, no matter if she annoys me, or is miserable because push come to shove, my grandmother will "deal with the case" of anyone who tries to do me harm.
Tenks y'all!
2 comments:
Please feel free to describe your own grandma here! Let us know your favorite proverbs and sayings.
granny rule:
i remember my granny corna a chicken and tro a bathpan ova him. Nex ting, she draw fa a kitchen bi$*h (knife) anchap di chicken hed off. (Don't remember if i had dinner that night)
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